• Nikki Vergakes

The to do list & Existentialism

I've written a pretty lengthy poem called, "Anatomy of Anxiety". It delves deep into my experience with anxiety, how it makes me feel and my hopes for living a fruitful life after finally facing it after many years. I'll be publishing it verse by verse over the next few weeks on this blog. Below is the next two parts - "The to-do list & Existentialism".

Anatomy of Anxiety Table of Contents:

1. Mindfulness

2. Me Against the World

3. The to-do List & Existentialism

4. Being nicer to Myself & A Force to be Reckoned With

Theres, of course, a lot that this doesn't cover. If you every want to talk more about your relationship with anxiety, please e-mail me.

The to do list

I want to go back to the place where I trust myself to get through my to-do list without obsessing over it. I

want to be in a mental space not consumed by

the to-do list.

I am more than the to-do list.

But I live with you, and you don’t

create a safe space for me

you heighten my anxiety you’ve made myself an

enemy you’ve

taken so much away from me.


I don’t remember what its like to

be happy with where I am in life.

I don’t remember what it’s life to

not be negatively motivated by my works and accomplishments.

what you see as a win I see as a loss

and honestly I’m at a loss

Because of you.

When did I last take a a break?

Could you tell me?

You couldn’t, because you won’t let me.